• Dr Ashutosh Srivastava

When someone hates you

When people are disappointed in you, just tell yourself it is because they believe you can do better. When people criticize you, tell yourself they simply dont understand you. When people offend you with words, tell yourself they probably have their own problems. When people hate you, tell yourself that they merely see in you the things they hate about themselves. When people pull you down, tell yourself it is the envy in their hearts that makes them do so. When people curse you, love them for they understand not what they do.

Pity those who spread hatred, for they are filled with so much darkness they can no longer see the light in others. Answer hatred with love. Show those who are drowning in the sea of hate that their darkness has no power over you. This will forever remain true, that love always prevails.

What to do if you feel people hate you

Social interactions can sometimes be a challenge for people. Some people may even find that any social interaction can leave them feeling as though others hate or dislike them, even when this is not the case. People who experience this may feel isolated. They often fear a large group because they worry that its members are talking about them. They overanalyze, looking for hidden meaning in the words or actions of others to indicate their dislike. There are many potential reasons why a person may feel this way. These can include:

  • depression

  • abusive relationships

  • anxiety

  • low self-esteem

  • bipolar disorder

  • previous or current bullying

  • other mental health conditions

In some cases, a person may be able to work through their feelings of distrust and anxiety. Others may need counseling, and possibly medication, to help them overcome negative feelings about how others view them. Keep reading for some tips on how to cope with such feelings, when to see a doctor or counselor, and possible treatments that may help.

Coping with these feelings

Applying certain strategies may help a person feel better about themselves and how others perceive them.

A person dealing with the belief that everyone around them hates them may find it challenging to manage or overcome this feeling.

This can make it harder to make friends and build relationships, and may also affect a person’s professional life.

However, some strategies may help a person feel better about themselves and how others perceive them.

The following are some tips to help a person change their mindset:

Look at a situation from the other person’s perspective

People who think that others hate them often believe that all the actions and words of others have a hidden meaning.

A person not liking a photo on social media, not returning a friendly greeting when walking by, or not responding to a text right away could all signal that the other person does not like them.

However, in reality, the other person could have many potential reasons for not doing the desired action, which have nothing to do with the person who feels slighted.

To help overcome this, a person can try to look at the same situation from the other person’s perspective. Maybe they did not like the photo on social media because they never saw it. Maybe they did not hear the other person greet them or were in a hurry. Maybe the text came at a time of day when they were very busy.

Whatever the situation, people can try to find explanations other than the person not liking them.

Reframe the situation objectively

It is usually very difficult for a person to look at a situation that they are a part of without emotion, especially when things do not work out as they may have wanted.

For example, if two friends leave a third friend out when they meet up, the third friend may interpret the reason for this as the two friends not liking them. However, instead of focusing on the negative of being left out, the third person could try to look at the situation objectively.

What possible reasons would the friends have to get together without the third person? Did they happen to bump into each other? Did they know or think that the third person was busy? Had it been a long time since they spent time together?

A person should focus on all of the possible reasons why a situation worked out as it did. The majority of reasons have nothing to do with other people’s feelings toward them.

Stop trying to determine what others are thinking

Trying to determine the negative thoughts that other people may have can affect a person’s mental health.

Some people may find that they try to read what others are thinking when they interact with them.

To some extent, this can be normal behavior. However, if a person becomes obsessed with trying to determine the negative thoughts that other people have toward them, it can start to affect their life. People with bipolar disorder are commonly prone to this type of thinking.

Instead of attempting to read thoughts, people can try to take most people’s words at face value. If they say that they like something, they do. If they do not want to get dinner, maybe they are not hungry or have other plans.

Try to do what you wish others would do to you

When it comes to overcoming feelings of being hated, this can be helpful advice.

For example, if a person wants to go out with a group, they should proactively ask others to go out with them. Likewise, rather than waiting for someone to greet them, a person should say hello first.

If a person begins to act how they want others to treat them, they may start to see people responding in the same way.

When people mistreat you, it is them, not you

Some people are bullies and are abusive or mean to others.

When a person is on the receiving end of this behavior, it is not their fault. Instead, the individual doing the abusing has some issues on which they need to work. A person should seek to remove the offending individual from their life.

If they need help, for example, in the case of spousal abuse, they can look into getting support from organizations such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Get exercise

People often find that staying physically active can improve their overall mood and outlook on life.

A person can try taking a walk several times a week, playing a sport, or doing another activity that they enjoy. A person may also benefit from spending time outdoors.

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