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Writer's pictureDr Ashutosh Srivastava

What is unhealthy expectation in relationship?

Unhealthy expectations in a relationship refer to unrealistic or unfair beliefs, demands, or standards that individuals place on their partners or the relationship itself. These expectations can be detrimental to the overall health and well-being of the relationship, leading to issues like resentment, frustration, and a breakdown in communication. Here are some examples of unhealthy expectations in a relationship:


  1. Unrealistic Perfectionism: Expecting your partner to be perfect or to always meet an impossibly high standard in terms of appearance, behavior, or achievements.

  2. Dependency and Fulfillment: Expecting your partner to fulfill all your emotional, social, and personal needs, which can be emotionally draining and stifling for both individuals.

  3. Lack of Autonomy: Expecting your partner to give up their personal goals, interests, or friendships to solely focus on the relationship, disregarding their need for individual growth and autonomy.

  4. Constant Attention and Validation: Expecting your partner to always prioritize you, give you constant attention, or validate your worth, leading to an unhealthy imbalance in the relationship dynamics.

  5. Mind Reading and Assumptions: Expecting your partner to know your thoughts, feelings, or needs without clear communication, which can lead to misunderstandings and unmet expectations.

  6. Financial Dependence: Expecting your partner to solely provide for you financially or to manage all financial responsibilities, without contributing or discussing financial decisions.

  7. Isolation from Others: Expecting your partner to isolate themselves from friends, family, or social activities, limiting their social interactions and support systems.

  8. Neglecting Boundaries and Consent: Expecting your partner to disregard their personal boundaries, consent, or comfort for the sake of the relationship or to please you.

  9. Emotional Control: Expecting your partner to regulate your emotions or be responsible for your happiness, putting an unfair burden on them and potentially stifling their emotional expression.

  10. Immediate Conflict Resolution: Expecting all conflicts to be resolved immediately or without any disagreements, without acknowledging that conflicts are a natural part of any relationship and need to be handled constructively.

  11. Unrealistic Role Expectations: Expecting your partner to conform to rigid gender roles or societal expectations that may not align with their values, desires, or capabilities.

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, communication, compromise, and support. It's crucial for individuals to have realistic and reasonable expectations of their partners, allowing room for growth, individuality, and shared responsibilities within the relationship. Effective communication and a willingness to adapt and negotiate are key components of maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

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