Choosing emotionally unavailable partners and friends can be a pattern that is difficult to break. However, with self-awareness, intention, and personal growth, it is possible to change this pattern and form healthier relationships. Here are some steps you can take:
Self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your past relationships and friendships. Consider the common traits and behaviors of the emotionally unavailable people you've been drawn to. Are there any patterns or red flags you have overlooked? Understanding your own tendencies and preferences can help you become more aware of potential pitfalls.
Assess your own emotional availability: It's important to examine your own emotional availability and readiness for a healthy relationship. Are you open to vulnerability and emotional connection? Are there any unresolved emotional issues from your past that may be influencing your choices? Be honest with yourself about your own emotional state and areas for personal growth.
Set clear boundaries: Establishing and maintaining boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Clearly define what you need and expect from your partners and friends. Learn to recognize signs of emotional unavailability early on, and don't be afraid to walk away if someone consistently fails to meet your needs.
Build self-esteem and self-worth: Often, people gravitate towards emotionally unavailable partners because they believe they don't deserve better. Focus on building your self-esteem and recognizing your own worth. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, practice self-care, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family.
Seek therapy or counseling: Consider working with a therapist or counselor who can help you explore deeper issues and patterns in your relationships. They can provide guidance, support, and tools to help you break free from the cycle of choosing emotionally unavailable partners and friends.
Expand your social circle: Make an effort to meet new people and expand your social circle. Engage in activities and communities that align with your interests and values. By widening your pool of potential friends and partners, you increase your chances of meeting emotionally available individuals.
Take your time: Avoid rushing into relationships or friendships. Give yourself time to get to know the person and assess their emotional availability before investing too much. This allows you to make more informed decisions and avoid repeating past patterns.
Remember, breaking patterns takes time and effort. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work towards forming healthier relationships.